New Discovery Hailed As "Incredible"
EMRYVILLE, CALIFORNIA - Scientists at Amyris Biotechnologies ($AMRS) have announced the creation of a new life-form out of microbes derived from the Norway Maple, one of the most invasive species of plants on Earth. Early data on the blob-like creature indicates an incredibly adaptable organism that has researchers scrambling to find a way to find a commercial application for the creation.
Blob Shows Signs of Sentience
"We're still trying to figure out a use for it," said Dr. Brian Flagg, lead researcher on the team. "It looks like 'The Blob' from those science-fiction movies, but it's totally harmless and doesn't grow. In fact, it's kind of friendly."
Amyris Biotechnologies had initially sought to engineer a novel cosmetic ingredient that would result in healthier, more supple skin, but the project instead led to the formation of the new creature Amyris researchers have affectionately dubbed 'The Glob'.
At a recent meeting at Amyris, executives and board members tried to find a way to monetize the new discovery according to their current business model, but came up empty.
"There's no nutritional or cosmetic value. It couldn't even be used as some kind of fuel. It was a total dead-end," said Amyris CEO John G. Melo. "We just couldn't come up with anything that we could use 'The Glob' for. And then lightning appeared to strike."
Domestic Pet Market
According to Melo, one of the researchers was posting pictures of Mrs. Snippy, her beloved Pomeranian, on Instagram when she made the connection.
"As soon as [Mary Doppler] said it we all knew it would be gold," continued Melo. "We immediately started planning a rollout strategy to put this thing on the market. We missed the holiday season this year, but next year it's going to go global. Kids are going to love it and our investors are going to be more than pleased."