No Good Moody's ($MCO): Settlement Goes Beyond Fine
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK - Moody's Corp ($MCO) has agreed to pay $864 million in fines related to its actions leading up to the financial crisis that nearly wiped out all life on Earth. While the financial sum of the settlement has been widely reported in the financial mainstream media, other details of the settlement have been released.
No Moody's ($MCO) For Humiliation
Raymond W. McDaniel Jr. CEO of Moody's was angered by the fine and defended his company's obviously awesome and controversial mortgage rating system.
"This is an outrage," McDaniel said. "Just because movies like The Big Short made us look like total jackasses doesn't mean we should have to pay such an outrageous amount of money."
Federal regulators were adamant in their belief that Moody's did not follow its credit assessment and credit rating standards in the years leading up to the Great Recession of 2008.
No Admission Of Guilt
As with most deals of this nature, Moody's did not accept one bit of legal guilt as the settlement did not result in Moody's violating any laws and protected them from any form of liability regarding the subprime mortgage crisis.
Translating the statement released by Principal Deputy Associate Attorney General Bill Baer at the Justice Department, the consensus was that Moody's paid to be able to slither away, and that was obviously fine with the Justice Department.
"We got them!" said Baer. "We made them pay less than they made of what they allegedly did!"
Details Of New Punishment For Moody's ($MCO)
In addition to the fine, members of Moody's executive team will have to submit to public spanking at Zucotti Park in lower Manhattan, the same park where the Occupy Wall Street movement failed terribly to maintain a foothold in the American consciousness.
"It's going to be a great show," said Baer. "We're going to spank and flog them for a few hours and embarass them a bit. Admission is $20 and people who can prove they were foreclosed on during the Great Recession will be admitted free of charge. All proceeds from the event will go to Goldman Sachs, who in turn, will funnel the money back into Moody's."
Big Banks And Financial Institutions Have Short Stays In Collective Microscope
Nobody seemed to care too much that Moody's paid a giant fine with no admission of guilt. It was business as usual on the street. The matter received some coverage in the financial media, but it was largely ignored by mainstream media sources.
'The Financial Forgetfulness Phenomenon' has been seen before in similar incidents involving Goldman Sachs ($GS), Wells Fargo ($WFC) , Bank of America ($BAC), Citigroup and J.P. Morgan Chase ($JPM).
Dr. Jasmine Carter, an investment psychologist at BXT Communications tried to explain the phenomenon.
"With complex financial organizations there's less permeation into the collective consciousness," said Carter. "People either seem to just forget that this stuff happened or are likely to lump the bad actors together and rationalize it off as 'the system' at work. If it was some illegal immigrant stealing a bunch of cleaning supplies or a poor person committing food stamp fraud, the story would be ablaze on social media. For some reason people have a problem relating to crimes they can't understand the magnitude of."
Hunter Keen, Curator at the Wall Street Museum, has observed the investing world for more than half a century.
"Movies about high financial crime are largely celebrated," said Keen. "I think The Big Short did a nice job trying to stick with the details, but movies like The Wolf of Wall Street hint that it's kind of fun rip people off and you can have a great time while eventually squirming out of any responsibility. For every Bernie Madoff there's a company full of him walking away grinning."