Skyscraper: You Can't Spell 'Skyscraper' without C-R-A-P
One of my favorite weekend pastimes is to whip out the Helios and Matheson North America (HMNY) Moviepass and head to one of my local theaters. This weekend it was a trusty AMC and the movie target was Skyscraper. Skyscraper is a traditional brainless summer movie geared towards moviegoers who are actively seeking brainless summer movies. In that respect, it accomplishes its mission. This Dwayne Johnson (The Rock) vehicle sends our likely hero on a senseless rampage through a gigantic burning building to save his family. Along the way, he encounters a bunch of idiots and survives such ridiculous near-misses, that it's completely laughable. But again, it is brainless fun. SPOILERS ahead!
10 Things I Learned Watching 'Skyscraper'
4. The criminal underworld in Hong Kong is populated by complete idiots.
5. When there’s a vicious gunfight, if you walk away slowly without the benefit of any cover, and you’re a hot chick, the police cannot shoot you.
6. An asthmatic child can go from having difficulty breathing and in a state of panic to barking out orders in seconds and making a complete recovery.
7. There are extremely lax qualifications for determining whether something is a ‘Wonder of the World’.
8. Turning things off and then on fixes them, no matter what. It tries to be Ellis' watch from Die Hard in a sense, but it fails terribly and is spectacularly obvious. You know how the conflict is going to be resolved just a few minutes in. Oh, and Gen X doctors don't know anything about technology.
9. Neve Campbell is still acting.
10. Prosthetic legs are the most versatile and useful things in the known universe. If only MacGyver had a prosthetic leg instead of his trusty Swiss Army knife.
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