Democrat Hopeful Ocasio-Cortez To Receive High Honor
Chavez Economic Freedom Award
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is likely going to win Joe Crowley's long-held seat in New York's 14th Congressional District this coming November. The heavily democratic district has seemingly been energized by Ocasio-Cortez, and the candidate has already become a lightning rod for her political opposition. As the media war between the two main tribal groups rages on, it is a certainty that this latest exclusive (we have so many) from trendsmasher.com could likely provide some opening salvos in a ferocious political battle.
Empty Shelves & The Hammer and Sickle
Which Is The Real Socialism?
When informed of her award, Ms. Ocasio-Cortez attempted to distance herself from malfunctioning Venezuela and declined to accept the prestigious honor.
"I'm not in this to win awards or make myself rich. I don't believe that in a moral and wealthy America people should be too poor to live. I find that to be an unacceptable state. I haven't taken corporate money, but if I should ever do that, I assure you my positions would change dramatically. If I ever sell out to corporations, I will gladly move to Venezuela and live in Caracas!" said Ocasio-Cortez, using someone else's voice box since hers was hoarse from all her recent media appearances.
TrendSmasher learned that Vermont senator Bernie Sanders offered to accept the award on the upstart candidate's behalf as savior to South America and the rest of the world.
Maddow & Hannity To Spar
With all the confusion about political labels abound, MSNBC's Rachel Maddow and Fox News' Sean Hannity have agreed to a public fist fight to determine once and for all the actual meaning of the word 'socialism'. The word has caused much angst in the snowflake community.
"I'm going to win," said Hannity, while eating a grape jelly doughnut and pumping himself with insulin to stave off a diabetic attack. "I have the endurance, stamina and the will. I will say anything to support whatever cause I'm supposed to be supporting that day. If I say something, my audience will repeat it and defend it, even if I've argued against the same thing before! I'm a lock to win!"
"He's got no chance," said Maddow. "I'll use some long words and that will confuse him enough for me to lull him to sleep. Then I'll finish him off with my special snark attack. Besides, if I say something, my audience will repeat it and defend it, even if I've argued against the same thing before! I'm a lock to win!"
As of the time of this publication, Las Vegas bookmakers had the upcoming fight even, making it a coin-flip for gamblers looking to get in on the action.
Psychology Community Reacts
"It's evident that many people have an aversion to the term 'socialism'," said Dr. Reinhardt Maxwell Thurston, psychology professor at Oxford University. "It's become impossible to have a nuanced discussion about what 'socialism' is or isn't."
Thurston went on to ponder if the Democratic People's Republic of North Korea was in fact democratic or a republic - or even for the people.
"The danger in using labels is that they are often not correct," added Thurston. "Labels are an easy way to get those entrenched in tribalism to eschew logic and reason for the bitter pill of emotion. It's worrisome that the Libtards and the Trumpanzees can't show respect to one another."
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The Valley Report