Facility In Wolf Creek On Deck
WOLF CREEK, KANSAS - With the head-scratching siege of the Oregon Wildlife Refuge approximately 30 miles outside of Bern, Oregon is still in full bloom, the militia force groveling for snacks and socks inside a largely-abandoned building have set their crooked sights on their next target.
King Kong Bundys
"We're going to be moving on soon," said Ammon Bundy, defacto leader of the militia and son of famed cattle-rancher Cliven Bundy. "There is so much wrong with America today and we're going to fix everything one illegal occupation at a time!"
TrendSmasher learned of the group's next target, should they make it out of their current situation alive.
"The federal government has overreached so far for so long and we're not gonna take it no more," said Bundy. "We're going to Wolf Creek, Kansas and we're going to take over the nuclear disposal site there. That radioactive garbage is owned by Americans, not the government!"
Big Government Nuclear Waste Sites Unconstitutional?
Bundy, who at one time took a federal loan for over half a million dollars, went on to point out that Americans have the right to radioactive poisoning because the Constitution doesn't limit it.
Cal "Moonbeam" McGlinty, who left his home in Mobile, Alabama to join the cause in Oregon spat out a bewilderingly-large wad of chaw before speaking his mind.
"Gamba dimmit, biggun gubmint! Yabba-dabba do dabba de-be dabba!" screamed McGlinty, firing-up the militia into an indecipherable roar of anger mixed with utter confusion.
Ammon's brother, Ryan Bundy, has sworn to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with his brother and the rest of the self-described patriots who have turned a nearly abandoned tract of land into a political flashpoint.
"We have the right to be irradiated," said Ryan Bundy. "We have the right to die from exposure to radiation and we're going to prove it!"
Militia Will Ask For Lead-Lined Socks And Iodine
Efforts by the militia to set up a supply chain for the next site have already been initiated. Along with lead-lined socks and iodine, the militia plans to ask for extra cattle to see if the cows will mutate into even more productive livestock.
"I'm gonna send my boys some of my best livestock raised on 100% federal grazing lands and we'll see how they turn out," said Cliven Bundy. "I'm proud of my boys and I know they gonna be right up there on Mount Rushmore one day."
Late-Breaking Broadcast From Ammon Bundy
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