Interpretative Dance Will Never Be The Same
LOS GATOS, CALIFORNIA - Shares of Netflix ($NFLX) were in flux as news broke that the cast of The OA will perform at President Donald Trump's inauguration on January 20, 2017. While the added exposure of the much-discussed (and somewhat bizarre) dance routine central to the show's plot will be a boon for Netflix, the reaction of the cast and fans of the show were decidedly mixed.
Trump Unfamiliar With The Show
"I've never heard of it," said Trump. "I don't watch it. I don't know what it is. Dancing? It better be great dancing. Bigly dancing. I don't even like to dance, believe me."
Trump went on to commend Netflix for being a "great" company while also being concerned that streaming content to other countries is bad for America.
"I've read that they send content overseas," Trump continued. "I think that's wrong. That leaves less content for Americans to watch. I don't like it and I'm going to have to do something about it."
Brit Marling Shocked At The News
"I wasn't happy about it when I found out," said Brit Marling, star and co-creator of The OA. "I'm not a fan of many of President-elect Trump's policies and I have no idea how the interpretative dance from the show is going to fit in there [at the inauguration]."
Marling wasn't the only one confused at the controversial booking.
"It's definitely a head-scratcher," said Zal Batmanglij, co-creator of The OA and long-time creative collaborator of Marling. "I think some of the cast is excited. No matter what area of the political spectrum your views fall in, it is an honor to meet and perform for the President of the United States."
Fans Of The Show Protest
Scores of message boards and forums devoted to the avant-garde series were abaze with controversy at the announcement.
"I don't know what to make of this," wrote HapHater2016. "I don't think I can stomach watching this. "
While many users echoed HapHater2016's sentiments, there were others that saw a light at the end of the near-death experience tunnel.
"I have my fingers crossed that the dance will actually work and the entire inauguration will be sucked into another dimension, just like in the show!" tweeted Logan0101.
Backlash From Trump Supporters
Fans of President-elect Donald Trump were pissed at the news and took to social media to voice their displeasure.
"He's trying to reach out to liberals and their dumb shows and the precious snowflakes can't handle it," LibSmasher45 tweeted.
"I watched that show and wasted a lot of time," wrote MakeMuricaGreat on 4chan.org. "I gave it a chance and it felt like a bit of my soul was ripped out of my body."
Vladimir Putin Responds
"I didn't like the show," Russian President Vladimir Putin said in a statement released by the Kremlin. "It reinforces stereotypes about Russians that aren't true. I have ordered the GRU to hack Netflix immediately! I will order Julian Assange to release the names of every American who watched this dreadful show."
President Obama Chimes In On His Way Out
"If Vladimir Putin hacks Netflix it would be an aggressive move that would require us to take action in return," President Barack Obama said in a statement released by Jay Carney, the President's Press Secretary. "I think we will start by smashing every Fabergé egg in the world and we'll go from there. Hopefully, Putin will get the message that you can't mess with fictional American television shows."
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The Valley Report