New Carts To Improve Profits
ISSAQUAH, WASHINGTON - Already lauded as one of the best shopping experiences by consumers, Costco ($COST) is making significant alterations to their carts that most believe will improve the bulk giant's profit and shopper satisfaction.
Aisle Blockers Beware
According to customer surveys, aisle blocking is one of the most annoying experiences faithful Costco users have to contend with while navigating the labyrinth-like maze in the massive bulk warehouses. In a continuing, and tireless effort to increase customer satisfaction, Costco announced an upgrade members can add to their membership accounts.
"We're really excited about the benefits of Ram-Cart and Ram-Cart plus," said W. Craig Jelinek, CEO of Costco. "For a nominal yearly fee, our shoppers can use our new Ram-Carts and end the time-wasting practice of certain customers selfishly blocking aisles and causing gridlock in our stores."
TrendSmasher reports that the newly-designed cart courtesy of Jet Propulsion Laboratories (JPL) integrates improved aerodynamics, reinforced steel, faster speed, and an angled front that will add momentum and allow Ram-Cart users to smash offending carts out of the way with breathtaking ease.
"In taking on this project we drew from a variety of sources," said Max Angerer, Lead Industrial Developer at JPL. "One of the key influences were cars from the hit movie Mad Max: Fury Road. We tried to incorporate the strength and durability of vehicles from the film while keeping the carts functional and stackable."
RamCart Silver vs. RamCart Gold
Ram-Cart Silver will cost just $4.95 per year while Ram-Cart Gold will result in an additional $9.95 charge annually.
The basic plan, or Ram-Cart Silver, includes a base upgrade featuring a front battering ram and improved cart construction. Ram-Cart Gold improves on Ram-Cart Silver by adding a roll-cage, anti-lock brakes, and a GPS display which pinpoints less crowded areas of each store and highlights blocked aisles for shoppers who really enjoy smashing carts out of the way.
"This is going to be really exciting," said Peter Cartonomo, Costco's Director of Media Outreach. "Since our stores are under constant video surveillance, we're going to launch a Youtube channel featuring the best collisions. Look for the new cart designs to be unveiled later this week!"
Costco Customers React
News of the cart upgrades received mixed reviews from consumers, but overall, the response was positive.
"I can't stand when people block the way when I'm trying to get to my toilet paper," said Bertha McRoberts of Miami, Florida. "Now I can just smash them out of the way!"
"I've been waiting for something like this for a long time," added John Townsend, who has frequented the same Costco in Houston for the last 10 years. "I can't tell you how frustrating it is to try and get through an aisle when some idiot leaves his or her cart perfectly in the middle. I'm going for the Ram-Cart Gold because I read that I'll even be able to smash multiple carts out of my way."
Terrance Block of Sacramento, California, wasn't so sure about the changes coming to his local Costco. "Won't someone get hurt?" he asked. "I mean, I don't intentionally block aisles, but it happens from time to time because I get so excited at all the stuff. All someone has to do is say 'excuse me' and I'll get my cart out of the way. Why don't they just add a horn or bell to the carts like they have on bikes?"
AARP Sends Out Emergency Warning
AARP reached out to their older members with an emergency warning to be more vigilant while shopping at Costco, concerned about potential injuries resulting from the changes to cart policy.
"We're worried about our older members especially," said Jo-Ann Jenkins, CEO of AARP. "This is really an insensitive policy that Costco is putting in play. People are going to get hurt, killed even, and that's no laughing matter. Even though Costco is an incredible place to shop, we may have to direct our subscribers to BJ's and Sam's Club."
TrendSmasher contacted BJ's ($BJ) and Sam's Club ($WMT) to get their response to this industry-smashing development and both companies confirmed they were also looking into making alterations to their existing cart super-structure.