General Electric (GE): Getting Eviscerated
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS - After being unceremoniously booted from the Dow and replaced by Walgreens (WBA), General Electric (GE) is desperately searching for a way back to prominence, relevance and the confidence of shareholders.
General Electric (GE): Energize The Base
John L. Flannery, CEO of General Electric (GE), was reportedly riveted to news reports of the dramatic rescue of 12 Thai boys and their coach from a flooded cave in Thailand.
"It was amazing, inspiring stuff," said Flannery. "It got me thinking about GE and how we can be rescued, even with the cards stacked against us."
Trendsmasher reports that the struggling conglomerate is considering hiring the rescue workers and assigning them to their corporate headquarters in Boston.
"It's a no-brainer," continued Flannery. "They are in the business of saving people and we're in the business of needing saving. There's a symmetry there that is unmistakable and we're going to embrace it. We're also going to change the culture here. Gone are the days where serious science and big ideas gets you the headlines. We're going to MGFA. Make GE Fun Again. The hats are already being made somewhere in China. Or is it Mexico? I'll have to check."
General Electric (GE): Somebody Save Me!
Several General Electric (GE) insiders have told TrendSmasher that a choice for a new company song has already been made and leaked a copy of the promotional video (below).
In addition, the band responsible for Save Me, Remy Zero, will preform at a GE gala later this year.
"We're really excited," said Cinjun Tate, former vocalist for the disbanded group. "We're saving them and they're saving us. If the band ever gets back together and we're stuck in a flooding cave, we know who to call. It's very Zen."
General Electric (GE): Shareholder Hope
On Stocktwits, the popular platform for investors to advise, network and berate, the bulls were out on the news of big-time changes at GE.
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The Valley Report