Golden State Warriors Athletics 'Space Race'
OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA - As if the news of LeBron James signing with the Los Angeles Lakers wasn't enough earth-shifting basketball news, the NBA Champion Golden State Warriors dropped another bombshell on the league and its fans when they announced the signing of DeMarcus 'Boogie' Cousins to a 1-year mid-level contract worth $5.3 million. The general consensus is that this signing ensures the smoothest run to a championship possibly ever in professional team sports. But is that enough for the defending champs?
The Starting Five: $EDIT, $TMO, $A, $ILMN, $GHDX
Even with a starting lineup full of all-stars and potential NBA Hall of Fame players, Golden State is not satisfied and management is calling on some of the world's most exciting biotech companies to ensure that Golden State wins every game.
This past weekend, prior to the LeBron James and DeMarcus Cousins signings, Golden State Warriors owner Joe Lacob arranged a meaning with the CEOs of five genetics companies to ask for their aid in creating the ultimate basketball team.
"With the 4th of July coming up it's time to celebrate freedom," said Lacob. "Freedom from old age and retirement in the sport of basketball."
"I have to say I wasn't surprised to get the call," said Editas Medicine's (EDIT) CEO Katrine Bosley. "Our CRISPR technology is amazing and the applications for genetic editing are virtually limitless. "
In The Zone Clone
Not only will the Michael Jordan clone have all the great's basketball muscle memory, the companies involved are working diligently toward handling any off the court behavior issues.
"It's a tricky subject," said Marc N. Casper, CEO of Thermo Fisher Scientific (TMO). "Do human clones have rights? Are they actual people? We don't think so. The Jordan clone will return to a cryogenic storage container after each practice and game. This will dramatically reduce liability in case the clone goes haywire. The clone will only have memories related to playing the game of basketball, so there will be no The 6th Day problems."
Illumnia's (ILMN) CEO Francis deSouza was pleased with his company's participation in the project. "This will certainly be good news for our shareholders. Our genomic tests will aid in helping to fine tune the genetic editing process with CRISPR."
Genomic Health will reportedly be involved in maintenance of the Michael Jordan clone. "It's going to be a challenge," said Kimberly J Popovits, CEO of Genomic Health (GHDX). "With such an ambitious goal, there is a chance that things could go terribly wrong. Everyone remembers that scene from Alien Resurrection, right? We're going to concentrate on finding and treating genetic errors that could lead to cancerous growth."
* Halloween Horror Nights To Add Putin-Inspired 'Haunted House'
* NFLX & DIS Spar For Tim Burton's Child's Play Reboot
* Papa John's Founder Leaves Franchise For NFL Post
* President Trump Announces 'Tariff Force Supreme'
* General Electric Seeks Help From Unlikely Source
* Cong. Hopeful Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Honored By Venezuela
* Fmr. EPA Head Scott Pruitt Finds Landing Spot In Silicon Valley
* McDonald's Honors Top Worker