Trader Be Nimble . . . Trader Be Quick
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK - The Fraternal Order of Candlestick Makers has retained Jack, Bee, Nimble & Stick and have initiated litigation against traders using candlesticks in technical analysis over the last five years.
Candlestick Patterns Feel The Burn
"This reckless abuse has gone on for way too long," said Arnie Waxhammer, President of the Fraternal Order of Candlestick Makers. "Candles may not have the importance in daily life as they enjoyed a hundred years ago, but to watch these blood-sucking traders make billions while we fade into obscurity is completely unnerving."
Lawyers for candlestick makers cited Jack v. North Dakota, an obscure decision from 1882 which dictated that the term 'candlestick' could only be used in conjunction with actual candlesticks.
The unprecedented legal action has sent shock waves through the trading community.
"What am I going to do?" said Davis Greenpattern. "Candlesticks are the hallmark of technical analysis."
"My whole consulting business is based on using candlestick patterns," said Miriam Taylor, CEO of CandlestickCandleStockCandles.com. "Am I going to have to change my domain name? The name of my business? Lawyers suck!"
Traders Speak Out
TrendSmasher reached out to some of the more well-known voices in the trading community for comment.
"Utterly senseless," said famed day-trader Bryon Franzen. "I don't think I've ever heard of more ridiculous litigation. This ranks right up there with the judge who sued a dry cleaning company for losing his pants."
Trading guru Timothy Sykes laughed when told about the lawsuit. "I wish that law firm was a publicly traded company so I could short it into the ground."
Fictional Law Firm Responds
"Look," said Martin Jack, Head Partner at Jack, Bee, Nimble & Stick, "our client has a great case and, forgive this humorous quip, but we're bearish on the survivability of candlestick pattern as it pertains to technical analysis."
Jack stated that notices for Candlestick Infringement will be sent out to traders immediately.