Northern Dynasty Minerals' Shocking Discovery

Copper Is The New Black

VANCOUVER, CANADA - Northern Dynasty Minerals ($NAK) began exploratory drilling on a mammoth mineral deposit in southwest Alaska, but what they found terrified assay teams tasked with mapping the vast wealth of natural resources waiting to be mined.

A Penny For Your Nightmare

The following is an excerpt from the journal of Reed Richards, head geologist at Northern Dynasty Minerals.

Once we broke through the topsoil and into the cavern below, we heard a terrible howling. Greg Stanton, my chief engineer said it sounded like a wounded animal. It kept screaming "Eeeeeeepppppppaaaaa". I didn't know it then, but the horror was just beginning.

Two days later, we started losing people. Dave Cantwell, Charlene Peterson and Bill Restrepo were first to go missing. We sent in a rescue team and they disappeared as well. We told management not to send any more of our people down into the hole. Fortunately, they listened. The decision was made to send in a robot equipped with an omnidirectional camera array. We waited breathlessly for the camera to register anything. What we saw was terrifying.

"Eeeeeeepppppppaaaaa"

Warning: Video Footage Not For Faint Of Heart

After the exploratory footage of the rescue team was processed, the company released a short clip showing the horror experienced by the crew. From the footage, it seems that the creature can excrete scrambling bureaucrats that it controls with some kind of hive-mind connection.

Ron Thiessen, CEO of Northern Dynasty Minerals was resolute in a statement confirming the company's plan to mine the pebble deposit containing an absurd amount of valuable minerals.

"This vicious underground creature is not going to stop us," Thiessen said. "If anything, we're going to redouble our efforts to make sure the wealth of this site creates thousands of high-paying jobs and a great return for our loyal investors. The 'Eeeeeeepppppppaaaaa' monster has proven to be a formidable foe, but we're going to destroy it, even if we have to cut off its source of sustenance. You can take that to the bank."

TrendSmasher attempted to contact the 'Eeeeeeepppppppaaaaa' monster but our calls were not returned.